17 July, 2025
A Rare Find
CHARACTERS:
TATER……………man, 70s, Vietnam veteran, any race
MONICA…………woman, mid 30s, attractive but worn out, any race
TIME: 2019 (pre-pandemic)
PLACE: Any town USA
AS HOUSE LIGHTS GO DOWN, we hear SFX of a car screeching around a corner, excited teenaged voices, and a bottle hitting an object, then smashing on the ground as the car speeds away.
LIGHTS UP on TATER, who is wearing knee-length cargo shorts, sturdy shoes with black socks, a ball cap, and a neon orange vest over his t-shirt that has the words “American Made” and a flag on the back. He carries a hand-carved bamboo walking stick in one hand and a trash grabber in the other. AMBIENT NEIGHBORHOOD SFX UNDER.
TATER
(Muttering as he picks up shards of glass around a mailbox.) Kids.
SUDDENLY, a LOUD SCREAM. TATER ducks behind a tree or bush as MONICA, a distraught woman runs out to the curb with bare feet. She is hitting herself and making distressed noises. After a few seconds she sinks down on the curb and covers her face with her hands.
TATER
(Stepping out from his hiding place.) Watch out for the glass.
MONICA
Ahhh! You scared me.
TATER
Sorry. There’s broken glass all around your mailbox.
MONICA
I didn’t even notice it.
TATER
I know. You seem really upset.
MONICA
No. I’m fine.
TATER
You left your door open.
MONICA
He can’t get out. Don’t worry.
TATER
Who can’t get out?
MONICA
My son. (Checks TATER’S reaction.) Don’t you know who I’m talking about?
TATER
No idea. Your door’s always shut, and you keep your blinds down.
MONICA
You’d keep your house shut up too if you had to deal with him every day.
TATER
What’s his name?
MONICA
I’m surprised you’ve never heard his name all the times I’ve screamed at him.
TATER
I guess your walls are thick.
MONICA
Like a prison.
TATER
How old is he?
MONICA
Thirteen.
TATER
Hunh. Well, I’m surprised you’ve never heard about me.
MONICA
You’re the trash guy. I see you come by here every day.
TATER
No, I mean, heard the story about me. Your kid goes to school, doesn’t he? He must’ve told you about that time the substitute teacher broke little Amy McDonald’s arm.
MONICA
He doesn’t go to school. And he doesn’t actually talk anyway, so…
TATER
Well, you must be the only one in the neighborhood who’s never heard about it.