A short play

 

CHARACTERS

MAE: A woman in her mid-seventies. Edgar’s wife of many years.

EDGAR: A man in his late seventies. Mae’s husband of many years.

 

SET

Edgar and Mae’s kitchen. A simple set is preferred. A kitchenette set with a table and two chairs, a stove, a sink; perhaps a refrigerator.

 

 

(Mid-morning.

 

LIGHTS UP on EDGAR and MAE.

 

MAE stands at a kitchen sink washing and drying morning dishes. EDGAR sits at a kitchen table, reading a newspaper.)

 

 

EDGAR

Good breakfast, Mae.

 

(MAE turns to him.)

 

MAE

Thank you, Edgar.

 

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

Damn good breakfast.

 

(Beat.)

 

MAE

The secret’s in the skillet.

 

EDGAR

How so?

 

MAE

That’s my secret, not yours.

 

EDGAR

That’s right, that’s right. Your secret, not mine.

 

(Pause. EDGAR returns to reading his newspaper. MAE picks up a skillet. She looks it over. She gently runs the skillet under the kitchen faucet, and gingerly dried it with a paper towel. She looks toward EDGAR.)

 

Mae

You don’t wash it.

 

Edgar

What?

 

Mae

The skillet. You don’t wash it. With soap. You don’t scrub it.

 

Edgar

Why not?

 

Mae

It ruins the seasoning.

 

EDGAR

The what?

 

MAE

The seasoning. (Beat.) The flavor.

 

EDGAR

What flavor?

 

MAE

Maintaining the seasoning improves the taste and flavor of the foods you cook in it.

 

EDGAR

Where’d’ya learn that?

 

MAE

 

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

(Smiling at MAE.)

You and your cookbooks.

 

(MAE smiles back at him. Pause.)

 

Mae

What do you want for dinner?

 

EDGAR

Dinner?

 

MAE

 

EDGAR

I’m still digesting my breakfast, Mae.

 

MAE

I need to defrost something.

 

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

What about lunch?

 

MAE

Liverwurst sandwich, Edgar.

 

EDGAR

Right, right. Of course.

 

MAE

And I have bologna.

 

EDGAR

Right, right.

 

MAE

(Tenderly.)

Edgar. We decided lunch years ago.

 

EDGAR

Right, right. Of course.

 

(Pause.)

 

MAE

What about dinner?

 

EDGAR

I’m thinking. (Slight pause.) What are my options?

 

MAE

(Exasperated.)

Chicken, chop meat, pork.

 

EDGAR

Is that all?

 

MAE

All what?

 

EDGAR

All my options.

 

MAE

(Confused.)

That’s what we got, Edgar.

 

(Pause.)

 

EDGAR

What if I wanted, say, I dunno … fish?

 

MAE

Fish?

 

EDGAR

 

(Beat.)

MAE

We never have fish.

 

EDGAR

But what if I wanted fish?

 

MAE

You hate fish.

 

EDGAR

Do I?

 

MAE

If memory serves me right, Edgar, you do hate fish.

 

(Beat.)

 

EDGAR

But what if I did want fish?

 

MAE

Why would you want fish?

 

EDGAR

Humor me, Mae.

 

(Pause.)

 

MAE

I suppose I would go to the market.

 

EDGAR

Today?

 

MAE

Yes, today.

 

EDGAR

Not Thursday?

 

MAE

(Smiling.)

No. Today.

 

(EDGAR smiles back at MAE. He returns to reading the newspaper. Pause.)

 

MAE (CONT’D)

Should I…?

 

EDGAR

(Looking up from his newspaper.)

What?

 

MAE

Go to the market….

 

(EDGAR looks at her inquisitively.)

 

MAE (CONT’D)

For fish.

 

EDGAR

I hate fish, Mae.

 

MAE

Of course you do.

 

(EDGAR returns to his newspaper. Pause.)

 

MAE (CONT’D)

Chicken, chop or pork?

 

EDGAR

(Looking up from his newspaper.)

What was in that breakfast?

 

MAE

Same thing as always.

 

EDGAR

Something was different.

 

MAE

Three sunny-sides, two American bacons, two links, slice of toast, orange juice.

 

EDGAR

What did you have?

 

MAE

My breakfast, Edgar. (Beat.) Scramble.

 

EDGAR

Right, right. (Slight pause.) Something was different.

 

MAE

(Emphatically.)

Nothing was different, Edgar. Chicken, chop or pork.

 

(Pause.)

 

EDGAR

What if we went out?

 

MAE

Out?

 

EDGAR

 

(Slight pause.)

 

MAE

Out where?

 

EDGAR

For dinner.

 

(Beat.)

 

MAE

Why would we do that?

 

EDGAR

Something different.

 

(MAE crosses to the table. She sits. Pause.)

 

MAE

Where would we go, Edgar?

 

EDGAR

(Putting down the newspaper; with emphasis.)

Anywhere we want to.

 

(Beat.)

 

MAE

I don’t know.

 

EDGAR

(Taking her hand.)

Come on, Mae.

 

MAE

Where?

 

(Pause. EDGAR thinks.)

 

EDGAR

(Smiling.)

Toscano’s.

 

(Beat.)

 

MAE

Toscano’s?

 

EDGAR

You remember Toscano’s.

 

MAE

Of course I remember Toscano’s.

 

EDGAR

I proposed to you at Toscano’s.

 

MAE

Of course you did.

 

EDGAR

And you accepted.

 

MAE

Of course I did.

 

EDGAR

Then, let’s go to Toscano’s.

 

MAE

Are you sure, Edgar?

 

EDGAR

Come on, Mae.

 

(Slight pause.)

 

MAE

Alright. Alright. Let’s go to Toscano’s.

 

(Pause, as they look at each other.)

 

EDGAR

Let’s get us a reservation.

 

MAE

Alright. Alright. (Beat.) When? What time?

 

(Pause. EDGAR thinks.)

 

EDGAR

We eat dinner at five.

 

MAE

Five, then.

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

(An epiphany.)

No. Make it five-thirty.

 

MAE

Edgar!

 

EDGAR

(Confidently.)

Five-thirty, Mae.

 

(Beat.)

 

MAE

Alright, Edgar. Five-thirty.

 

(They look at each other.)

 

EDGAR

You gonna make the call?

 

MAE

Alright, I will.

 

(MAE stands and crosses to a kitchen wall phone.)

 

EDGAR

You got the number?

 

(MAE leafs through an old battered address book that had been hanging on a nail on the wall next to the telephone.)

 

MAE

In my book.

 

EDGAR

You got the number in your book?

 

MAE

Of course I do.

 

(Beat.)

 

EDGAR

All this time?

 

MAE

(Locating the phone number.)

Here it is.

 

EDGAR

(Lower voice; almost to himself.)

All this time.

 

(MAE dials the phone number.)

 

MAE

Hello. I would like to make a reservation for tonight for two people at five-thirty… What?… Is this Toscano’s?… Toscano’s…. Do you have the new number, then?… What?… When?… Oh, my…. Alright, then…. You have a nice….

 

(She places the receiver back on the hook.)

 

EDGAR

What?… Well…?

 

(Pause, as MAE crosses to the table and sits.)
MAE

That was…. That was….

 

EDGAR

(He takes her hand.)

Go on, Mae.

 

MAE

Toscano’s closed, Edgar. (Beat.) More than twenty years ago.

 

EDGAR

Who was that, then?

 

MAE

Some oriental lady.

 

EDGAR

I don’t think we’d like Chinese food.

 

MAE

No. (Beat.) It wasn’t a restaurant at all, Edgar. (Beat.) She was just an oriental lady. (Beat.) She’s had the number for years.

 

EDGAR

Oh. (Beat.) Well, then.

 

MAE

Well, then.

 

EDGAR

 

(Slight pause.)

 

MAE

Now what?

 

EDGAR

Well. (Beat.) We’ll have dinner here.

 

(Pause.)

 

MAE

Edgar?

 

EDGAR

What?

 

MAE

Why Toscano’s?

 

(Beat.)

 

EDGAR

No reason.

 

MAE

Why breakfast?

 

EDGAR

Mae?

 

MAE

Why fish?

 

EDGAR

No reason.

 

MAE

Edgar!

 

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

I’ve been to my doctor. (Beat.) I’m sick, Mae.

 

MAE

What?

 

EDGAR

 

MAE

You’ve been sick before.

 

EDGAR

Not like this.

 

(Pause.)

 

MAE

Oh, Edgar.

 

EDGAR

Sorry, Mae.

 

(Slight pause.)

 

MAE

Bad?

 

(Beat.)

 

EDGAR

 

(Slight pause.)

 

MAE

When were you going to tell me?

 

EDGAR

Yesterday. Last night. This morning. Tonight at Toscano’s. (Beat.) Maybe never.

 

 (Pause. EDGAR and MAE silently look at each other. EDGAR breaks their stare to look at a wall clock. He stands and crosses towards the kitchen door.)

 

MAE

Where are you going?

 

(EDGAR points at the wall clock.)

 

EDGAR

 

MAE

Now what, Edgar?

 

(Slight pause. EDGAR stops at the doorway and turns to MAE.)

 

EDGAR

I don’t know.

 

MAE

Edgar?

 

EDGAR

Yes?

 

MAE

(Smiling.)

Chicken. (Beat.) Chicken. We’ll have chicken for dinner, Edgar.

 

(Slight pause.)

 

EDGAR

(Smiling.)

That sounds real good, Mae.

 

(EDGAR exits. MAE sits silently for several beats. She stands and crosses to the sink. She picks up the skillet. She turns on the water faucet and grabs a bottle of dishwashing liquid. She pauses over the sink. Holding the skillet in one hand and the dishwashing liquid in the other she begins to weep as the LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE TO BLACK.)

 

THE END.

 

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