i push play on another scene 

from that movie where your skin

dissolves like a tablet of powder

in the rain there is something about 

distance & the heart growing fonder

always being the one left behind

& never the one leaving i want to 

spend a day not thinking about flowers 

still waiting to be born around bones 

that used to hold other bodies 

inside them… my body is a carnival 

on fire a mouth stuffed with lilacs 

it is hard to breathe in a world full of cars 

that get into accidents run your hand 

through my hair & tell the birds 

to go south forever

do you ever get lonely have you ever 

been afraid to hold on does the smoke 

stay in your clothes like it stays in mine

name this sometimes-unwanted-part of 

me— how a grave & i share the same 

unclean throat like water with a smell 

of the north in my memory tying knots 

as part of a ritual for a lover who had 

lost everything but the taste 

of bitterness & dry bread