7 January, 2016
When I said I am doing so well these days,
what I meant is I will go back to a humble place.
I will get a job in manual labor, in rugged red
sand and plains towns. My book of instruction
will read, How to Clean a Steam Train. All this,
so I may live out my years to best suit your prayers.
I am working so very hard to be your own tragic saint.
Nightly, I will write you in pharmaceutical ink,
I am sorry for these and so many things. And I hope
you’ll take it like a pill, violet moving through
all of your body. When I say hello or goodbye,
I really only mean, Accept my sincerest apologies.
My penance: to exile myself to avalanche cold
and isolated form, to fall and come down so fast,
so hard, where I liked living near you there too.
And when I spoke silly of my love and awe for you,
please know all I really meant to say was,
I would burn down a city in your name.